"I'm not the one you sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell"


But baby, you hardly even notice When I try to show you this song It's meant to keep you From doin' what you're supposed to Like wakin' up too early Maybe we could sleep in I'll make you banana pancakes

The telephone singing, ringing, it's too early Don't pick it up We don't need to We got everything we need right here And everything we need is enough It's just so easy When the whole world fits inside of your arms Do we really need to pay attention to the alarm Wake up slow, wake up slow

enough

I am not enough

not..

smart enough for this college thing

skinny enough

brave enough

self-confident enough

awake enough

Ido not have enough will power

strong enough

I am not enough person to do this.

In my hour of darkness she was standing next to me singing words of wisdom let it be, let it be.

when I call you

JUST LISTEN.

please.

once apon a time

its never enough to stay still and hope dear.

once upon a time i was not ok,

myboyfriend did coke in my bathroom
then tried to lie about it
and kiss me, where i could taste it.

My parents could not stay in the same room for five minutes
and my dad decided to drink his worries away

adam left for school leaving me alone

my boyfriend tried to put a date rape drug in my drink
his best friend saved me.

I was at a friends brothers house
he tried to rape me.

i was lost.



THAT TIME IS NOT NOW.

please let me forget.
I am NOT who i used to me dont judge me.

1/2

I miss the sound of your voice

i miss you. like alot. it sinks in sometimes that im not going to get very much us tim in the next few years. i am 100% willing to do that so you will have a future.

but I worry.

Alot

all the time.

it sneaks up on me, when i least expect it, I just get sad and the only way to explain it is your not here to cheer me up. everyone else does a good job helping but its not the same, its not you.

be safe my love. beleive in the impossible. be the person you have always wanted to be.

i got your back door.

frustration.

You know talking about you makes me smile But every once in awhile I wanna talk about me

Its never about me. I dont mind most of the time but every once in a while it would be nice.
maybe a note on my car, or coffee at work. Maybe suprising me outside of my class room. ive given you this list of things several times. it goes ok for a while and then back to your old ways. why cant this relationship be about both of us if you do anything for me i have to ask,even if ts only to ask how my day was.

i cook you dinner, do your laundry, clean your room. wait for you to comehome after drinking with yor friends make you a MBA name, check your mail text while your driving hold your stuff at work, carry your stuff home. I go to your sports game and bring you water. I take care of you when your sick. I let you eat my food, pick whats on tv an use my computer without getting mad if you play games. I always call you first. i let you sleep instead of drive me to school. I buy a footlong at subway because i know you will want the other half ,you drink my drinks when we go out. i go to UNT games even when i have stuff i need or want to do. I babysit around football games. I support you in whatever you do an push you to do better.

what do you do..pick me up from work.

does this seem fair?

stuck


take me to get ice cream
suprise me with a drink at work
be waiting in your car before i go to school
or with breakfest when i wake up
take my car to get fixed
bring something for my roomates
write me notes
and leave them places ill find them later
go to the park with me
and push me on the swings
thrift store shopping
making dinner togher
take me to the movies
show me off
pick out what i wear and dont tell me where we are going
lay out at night at watch the stars
bring me a flower
get across the universe, carmel apple lolli pops and popcorn
back massage
let me have the remote all night
teach me how to golf, bat play soccer
anything you like to do
dont tell me i look good every day
but do it when you know i try hard to
give my friends advice
and dont get grumpy for no reason
take as much pride in me as you do your car
suprise me with cute text messages
sing to me
make me a song or poem
slip notes under my door
walk to pick me up so i can walk back with you
go get spimoni
and blueberry icecream
and rootbeer floats
have a kids night- board games kid food and movies
and make a tent inside
and sleep in it
go camping
dogsit someones dog for the weekend
when i give you my opinion about what i want to do follow it
go get denton co. burgers
walk around the square
or a park
or walking trails


incase you run out of ideas.

i love you with my whole heart. completly. but sometimes. i wish i could be swept off my feet, instead of free falling :)

thirteen.

i was thirteen when i wrote this..it still applies.

I don’t feel like me
Or anyone I should be
Somethings different something wrong
Like the lyrics changed to my favorite song
Please don’t say im fine, it will be ok
Don’t stare at me, or look away
Can you look past my skin
Try and look deep within
Im not ok its not just fine
Unrippined taken from the vine
Can you help me find myself
It has to be me. No one else
Maybe I need to do this on my own
Just find my won personal zone.
Where I can think about everything
I wont hear the doorbell ring.
Let me sing my own song
Stop saying your right and im wrong
I am not me
Or anyone I should be.

i dont know what to do.

do i call you? will you answer?
do i pretend that i never saw your name?
am i supposed to pretend you never left me?
i have so many questions to ask you.

why

fyi:

this is not a day to day update of my life.


I let my anger out with words, not punches.
frustration + me = heavy typing.


you might get ditched for word. just saying.